Being Y.O.U

I'm not regretting for things I've done in the past neither nor things which I may end up with in the future. It's just that I realized somehow deep inside my heart that it's no longer there. Things which holding me back there was simply the feeling of guilty, sympathy and last but not least - sense of responsibility towards my duty. I just can't get back the motivation or at least the enthusiasm to stay there. huhu... better stop here lah, xmau pening2 pale and spoil my day. :p

At this very point of time, I'm actually enjoying such a pleasurable moment of short-term vacation during fasting month till the end of the week. Thou the balance of my annual leave is less than a day till the end of year 2010 (hehe), I felt no regret about it. To be honest with uols, I personally need that kind of period to reboot or refresh or re-energize or what ever people might say. A time where you are totally in control of yourself - physically and mentaly without any langau buzzing around your head.

Just to share with you on things which actually took place around me today - I've met several interesting people whom inspired me to be simply me. Despite the fact that it's kind of a lame topic, they somehow knocked me off from my never ending nightmare. One of them tought me about it's not a crime being you and you should enjoy yourself to the fullest doing things that you enjoy the most. Definetely, you'll achieve your glory or something worth enough to die for in the future rather than continuously treating yourself as a robot taking commands from the controller.

I've always have this kind of thinking in my head ever since I'm in secondary school. Do not afraid to commit mistake of making choices in our life. No matter how perfectionist you might turn up later on, you'll definitely encounter a moment where you'll felt neglected or ignored by the world around you. The key point is, never give up upon such incident. No one knows what'll happen in the future. It's true that somehow someone out there might be able to predict at most 99.99999% accurately based on statistics, experimental datas, minx nombor ekor and etc, but the actual event is not our card to call.

I don't really care actually about others perception about my way of thinking or behaviour. Because at the end of the day, I knew I'm not perfect. Even thou I'm putting my efforts to the fullest, be perfectionist, play my roles and responsibilities above the expectation of others, deep inside of me I want someone who can actually gave his/her personal opinion sincerely. No matter how good you are, there's always someone out there is better than you.

P/S: Please avoid any double standard, hanky panky perception about people around you. We are not living in this world by ourself. We'll need others to complete us.